Self-Regulation Strategies for Parents with Young Children

Because co-regulating emotions with your children is hard.

Parenting little ones can be overwhelming—and when big feelings show up (which they always will at some point), it’s easy to feel swept away right alongside your child sometimes. But here’s the thing: one of the most powerful ways to help your child calm down is by calming yourself first.

In this post, I’m sharing quick, in-the-moment strategies parents can use to self-regulate (beyond the most common "take a deep breath")—simple tools you can reach for when you need a reset, so you can show up best you can each day.

In-the-Moment Self-Regulation Ideas for Parents

• Play your favorite upbeat song (or a calming one if you'd like).

• Do a quick “shake it out” → shake your arms and legs to shake off all the stress.

• Hum or sing → The vibration naturally calms your nervous system.

• Find a scent you like → a candle, essential oil, coffee, or even your child’s shampoo.

• Open a window → Let fresh air hit your face for an instant reset.

• Splash cool water on your face → this sends a message to your nervous system to calm.

• Laugh on purpose → watch a funny 30-second clip or force a silly laugh (your brain catches up!).

• Chew gum or a something crunchy → repetitive chewing helps regulate stressful feelings.

• Hold something warm → a cup of tea, coffee, or warm water in your hands.

• Look at a photo that brings you calm or joy → of your child laughing, a fav vacation spot, or nature.

• Wrap yourself in a blanket → deep pressure helps calm the body.

• Light stretching → e.g., forward fold, child’s pose, or arms above your head.

• Stand in sunshine (if possible) and take one slow breath.

• Text a support person → even a quick “this is hard right now” can reduce overwhelm.

• Repeat a helpful phrase → “I can handle this,” or “This is just a moment, not forever.”

• Squeeze a pillow or give yourself a “self-hug” → a quick tight squeeze, release, repeat.

• Engage your sense of smell/taste → suck on a mint, smell citrus, or drink lemon water.

• Draw or doodle → on a sticky note or closest crayon & paper to redirect your energy.

• Massage your scalp/head → take a moment and give yourself some kindness.

• Butterfly taps & breathe → create a hand butterfly on your chest & alternate tapping hands

• Change your scenery → Step outside even for 30 seconds.

Remember: There is not 1 magical strategy that will work 100% of the time and every unique person has to figure out what works for them! There is no such thing as perfect regulation, we do our best & that is enough!

Want to read more about how this ties into your co-regulation with your child? Stay tuned for upcoming blogs about co-regulation!

If regulating big feelings at home for you and your little one, reach out for support from a professional in your area.

Live in California and interested in services for your family?

Click here to learn more about supportive therapy services with Priscilla!

Download a Handout Version of the Tips Here:

"In the Moment" Self-Regulation Tips for Parents